not waiting anymore

I never thought I'd say this, but there are just under 3 months of summer vacation left and I'm already sick of it. What are you supposed to do to pass the time when all you want to do is hide?

ptsd

I just spent 32 hours trying to get from Beijing to Hong Kong. It finally happened after a 22-hour train ride from Beijing to Guangdong where I had standing tickets. 22 hours. Standing tickets. Literally. Standing.

I've never been so happy to be back home, even when home does things like this to jw's hair:

new shoes

I recently read a New York Times article in the styles section that echoed a lot of the questions I (and I think many others) have about the cost of so-called designer goods. The article was called "Why Does This Pair of Pants Cost $550?"

I don't think I could ever justify spending $550 on a pair of khakis. Or any article of clothing, really. The thing is, thoughts like that bring another into my mind: does my inability to spend that kind of money make me strange? Every time I open a magazine the only skirts and shoes being advertised are the ones that cost as much as a plane ticket to Europe. Student budget aside, it just doesn't seem reasonable to me to spend $1600 on an (amazing) outfit when I want to spend the same amount on an iMac.

So what do I do when the thing I want is slightly out of the price of reason? Just suck it up? I've been wanting these shoes for a month. I've never spent more than $100 on a pair of shoes. These Madewell heels are apparently $148, according to the site. Other sources say $128. I suppose I'll have to decide whether they're worth it when I get back home to new york in a few weeks and try them on. My enormous feet (9.5) will be the deciding factor. I wonder if they even have them in my size.

(My 21st birthday is coming up in August? Is that an adequate reason?)

born romantic

I was attracted to this book's cover before I actually realized what it's about. Then I became attracted to the idea of actually reading it.

I'm hoping it'll explain the phenomenon of how, for the past four months, I've been made to feel like a hopeless romantic in comparison to two of my more (sardonic? realistic? emotionally unavailable is the working term) friends (& how they make me feel like an idiot).

Anyway, at the amazon description page of General Theory I read a paragraph that I'd like to share here:

"The Beatles may have sounded naive when they assured us that 'all you need is love,' but they may not have been far off the mark. New research in brain function has proven that love is a human necessity; its absence damages not only individuals, but our whole society. In this stimulating work, psychiatrists Lewis, Amini and Lannon explain how and why our brains have evolved to require consistent bonding and nurturing. They contend that close emotional connections actually change neural patterns in those who engage in them, affecting our sense of self and making empathy and socialization possible. Indeed, the authors insist, 'in some important ways, people cannot be stable on their own.'"

the better half

kr says that a friend should be happy for her friends' relationships as long as the relationship doesn't hurt the people in it. If a girlfriend or boyfriend makes your friend happy, then, as a real friend, you should accept it and try to be happy for her, even if you don't necessarily think the boyfriend is the best person for her. That was a confusing paragraph.

These two people are named Fanny & Bill. They got married at city hall this month. I've been pretty cynical about marriage for the past half year, but only in the sense that I think most couples shouldn't do it. In my opinion, it feels like many marry out of a sense of ritualistic obligation. Maybe it'll happen for me someday. Who knows. I dislike ruling anything out.

Anyway, I love Fanny's white overalls. I think it's a pretty good representation of how marriage on the whole should be treated with equal parts seriousness and humor.

best

I like the idea of writing whole stories with just emoticons.

Since I was small I've always regarded my double chin as a source of humiliation. Is it time to embrace it?

:((

?

:))